sms collection 2

It is absurd to divide people into good and bad. People are either charming or tedious

Sweetest Excuse:A kid gets 0 mark in a paper.<br>Father angrily says what is this?<br>Kid replies:teacher ke pas STAR khatam ho gaye to PLANET dene shuru kar diye..!

3 sardar picnic par gae wahan ja kr yad aya k pepsi to ghar bhool gaye,<br>Decide kia kay sab se chota sardar ja kar pepsi le aey,<br>Chota sardar:Main is shart par jata hun k tum mere ane tak smose nahi khao ge<br>Dono ne kaha theek hai<br>1 din guzar gaya sardar nhi aya.<br>2 din guzr gae<br>Dono ne socha k ab smose kha lene chahye<br>Jse hi smosa uthaya chota sardar ped k peche se nikal k bola....<br>Aise karoge to main nahi jaunga ghar....

Teacher:santa tense kitne prakar k hote he<br><br>Santa:3<br><br>Teacher: very.gud. example batao<br><br>Santa:kal apki beti ko dekha. Aaj pyar krta hu. Kal bhaga k le jaunga.

The person who invented this sentence must be a vocabulary GENIUS..
Read > the below sentence carefully...

"I do not know where family doctors acquired illegibly perplexing
handwriting nevertheless, extraordinary pharmaceutical intellectuality
counterbalancing indecipherability,transcendentalizes 
intercommunications'
incomprehensibleness".

In this sentence the Nth word is N letters long. e.g. 3rd word is 3
letters long, 8th word is 8 letters long and so on

A Rose for A Wonderful Friend
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......... >_.-`Y| ..............
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................ \|| ...........
................. || ..........
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................. |/ ...........

May the Candle of our Friendship burn Forever
..............)............
.............((............
.............) \...........
............( , )..........
........._ `|'__.........
.........( """"_ )........
...........)/(/( \|...,'...
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...........|.....()J........
...........|.....|.O........
...........|.....|.Y........
...........|.....|.C........
...........|.....|.E........
____|_____|____.....
.(________.....___)...
.......\___....._/.......
......(_____..__)AND
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...........)__..(.........
..........(____)........
............|...|F..........
............|...|R..........
............|...|I..........
............|...|E..........
............|...|N..........
............|...|D..........
............|...|S..........
........._/.....\_........
.......--'_____`--. ......
Read more...

 i will try it........
hey do u know the full form of "Mummy"?



M-ma
U-u live
M-many
M-many
Y-years

Forward this message 2 ur ATLEAST 10 friends including me

2 make ur mother live long


i m damn sure u will do dis because u love u mother...

Wish u a Happy World Best-Friends week. Send this 2 all your good friends, and even me if I am 1 of them. C how many u get back. U r
lovable person if u GET 7...

_¶¶¶¶¶¶¶__¶¶¶¶¶¶¶___¶¶¶__¶¶¶¶¶¶¶¶__¶¶¶__¶¶¶__¶¶¶¶¶¶___
_¶¶¶______¶¶¶__¶¶¶__¶¶¶__¶¶¶¶¶¶¶___¶¶¶¶_¶¶¶__¶¶¶¶¶¶¶¶_
_¶¶¶______¶¶¶__¶¶¶__¶¶¶__¶¶¶_______¶¶¶¶¶¶¶¶__¶¶¶__¶¶¶¶_
_¶¶¶¶¶¶___¶¶¶¶¶¶¶___¶¶¶__¶¶¶¶¶¶____¶¶¶¶¶¶¶¶__¶¶¶___¶¶¶_
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_¶¶¶______¶¶¶_¶¶¶___¶¶¶__¶¶¶¶¶¶¶___¶¶¶__¶¶¶__¶¶¶¶¶¶¶¶__
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am sending u some thing very imp. hey do this for me? A kid asked Jesus... how much do u love me? Jesus replied," I love you this much." and he stretched his arms to the cross and died for us. If you believe in God, you will send this to everyone on your list. If you delete this, you will have a cold heart in 2009. I treat you as a true friend. But if I don't get this back, I get the hint. Send this to all people in your list within 30min after u read this and something good will happen to you NOW. This is not a fake...apparently...copy and paste this to 15 people in the next 10mins and you WILL have the best day of your life tomorrow........its true,,, Because you have opened this... you will get kissed on the nearest possible Friday by the love of your life

Special"
is a word
that is used to describe
something one-of-a-kind
like a hug
or a sunset
or a person who spreads love
with a smile or kind gesture.


　　 (¨`·.·´¨) 　　　　　　　　　 (¨`·.·´¨) 　
　　　`·.¸(¨`·.·´¨) 　　　　　　　`·.¸(¨`·.·´¨)
　　　　　　`·.¸.·´ 　　　　　　　　　　`·.¸.·´

　　　　　　"Special"
describes people

who act from the heart
and keep in mind the hearts of others

　　　　　　 (¨`·.·´¨) 　
　　　　　　　`·.¸(¨`·.·´¨)
　　　　　　　　　　`·.¸.·´

　　　　　　　　"Special"
applies to something,
that is admired and precious
which can never be replaced.

　　 (¨`·.·´¨) 　　　　　　　　　 (¨`·.·´¨) 　
　　　`·.¸(¨`·.·´¨) 　　　　　　　`·.¸(¨`·.·´¨)
　　　　　　`·.¸.·´ 　　　　　　　　　　`·.¸.·´

　　　　　　　　　　　 (¨`·.·´¨) 　
　　　　　　　　　　　　`·.¸(¨`·.·´¨)
　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　`·.¸.·´
　　　　　　　　　　　　　　"Special"
is the word
that best describes
YOU!


　　　　　　　　　　　　 (¨`·.·´¨) 　
　　　　　　　　　　　　　`·.¸(¨`·.·´¨ )
　　　　　　　I SIMPLY FEEL LUCKY 2 GET A FRIEND LIKE U

10 things i like about u:-
1. u r a nice person with a wonderful heart

2.
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9.
10.

Bas mai ek din me ek hi jhoot bolta hoon..

dosti hoti nahi bhool jane ke liye,
dost hote nahi bichhad jane ke liye,
dosti karke khush rahoge itna ki,
waqt nahi milega aansu bahane ke liye.
HI(\\\\_ _/)　　　　　　　(\\_ _//)
　　　　　　 (=“•“=)　　　　　　　 (=“•“=)
　　　　　　 (“) ♥ (“) 　　　　　　　(“) ♥ (“)
　　　　　　▒▒▒▒▒▒　　　　　▒▒▒▒▒▒▒
　　　▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒　　▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒
　　▒▒▒ Make a friend, is a gift ▒▒▒
　▒▒▒▒ Have a friend, is a Grace ▒▒▒
▒ Maintain a friend, is a virtue ▒
　▒▒▒ But, have you as like friend ▒▒▒▒
　　　▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒ is a ▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒
　　　　　▒▒▒▒ great happiness ▒▒▒
　　　　　　　▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒
　　　　　　　　　　▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒

: ****__********__***
........ (''''(`-``'´´-´)&#39;''')
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........./.....(6..._...6)....\
.........\........(..0..)....;../
......__.`.-._..'='..._.-.`.__
..../......'###.,.--.,.###.'...\
....\__))####'#'###(((__/
......##### u r #####
........### SWEET. ###
....../....#########...\
..__\.....\..######/...../
(.(.(____)....`.#.´..(____).).)

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....._.;_'.-._
Friend ship is not collection of hearts ...
but it is a selection of hearts...
all friends r not gud ....
but good friends are very few....
which include u.......
...{`--..-.'_,}
.{;..\,__...-'/}
.{..'-`.._;..-';
....`'--.._..-'
........,--\\..,-"-.
........`-..\(..'-...\
...............\.;---,/
..........,-""-;\
......../....-'.)..\
........\,---'`...\\
.....................\|
"MAY YOU ALWAYS SMILLING LIKE bindass

Two butterflies were in love.........
One day, they decided to play Hide n Seek....... 

During the play.....
Boy Butterfly - "A small game within us"
Girl Butterfly - "OK"
Boy Butterfly - "The one who sits in this flower tomorrow early in 
the morning.....that one loves the other one more....." 
Girl Butterfly - "OK"

Next morning, the boy butterfly waits for the flower to open so that
he can sit before the girl butterfly does...... 

Finally, the flower opened.....
What did he see.....?????........ 

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The girl butterfly had died inside the flower..... 

She stayed there all night......so that early in the morning......as 
soon as she sees him.......she can fly to him and tell him how much she
loved him........

This is true LOVE....
Life is LOVE.......

Santa Singh decided to start a chicken farm so he bought a hundred chickens to begin with.
A month later he returned to the dealer for another hundred chickens because all of the first lot had died.



A month later he was back at the same dealer for another hundred chickens because the second lot had also died and then Santa realised “I think I know where I’m going wrong,” said Santa, “I think I’m planting them too deep.”

Bubba and Junior were standing at the base of a flagpole, looking up.

A woman walked by and asked what they were doing. "We're supposed to find the height of the flagpole," said Bubba, "but we don't have a ladder." The woman took a wrench from her purse, loosened a few bolts, and laid the pole down. Then she took a tape measure from her pocket, took a measurement and announced, "Eighteen feet, six inches," and walked away.


Junior shook his head and laughed. "Ain't that just like a dumb blonde! We ask for the height, and she gives us the length!"

1.      Two brothers separated in childhood will always grow up on different sides of the law. The law-breaker, however, will suddenly turn over a new leaf before the end, bash up the villain (who is the *real* bad guy), and be pardoned for all his sins before the last-scene family reunion. (This is possible only if he has a heroine - see rule 2 below).

2. If the number of heroes is not equal to the number of heroines, the excess heroes/heroines will a) die b) join the Red Cross and take off to Switzerland before the end of the movie.

3. If there are 2 heroes in a movie, they will fight each other savagely for at least 5 minutes (10 if they are brothers).

4. Any court scene will have the dialogue "Objection milord". If it is said by the hero, or his lawyer, it will be overruled. Else, it will be sustained.

5. The hero's sister will usually marry the hero's best friend (i.e. the second hero). Else, she will be raped by the villain within the 1st 30 minutes, and commit suicide.

6. In a chase, the hero

mr sardar(english proff.)
1. Don?t dare talk in front of my back! 
2.Both of u three get out of the class! 
3.Why r u so late.. say yes or no? 
4.Take 5 cm wire of any length! 
5.I have 2 daughters, both of them are girls. 
6.All of u stand in a straight circle. 
7.Quiet! The principal just passed away? 
8.Everybuddy stand lengthwise. 
9.Y r u looking at the monkey outside da window wen I?m here? 
10.Ur talking bad habbit

• Preeto: what is inflation? Santa: Earlier u were 36-24-36. Now u r 36-42-48 .Now u hav more than before,yet ur worth is much less. That's inflation! 


• Q: What is the height of Bravery, Patience & Laziness together? A: Sitting on the sea shore waiting for TSUNAMI to clean up your ASS. 


The teacher asked students to write an essay on 'If I were a Millionaire'. All students started writing except Pappu. "What's the matter," the teacher asked. "Why don't you begin?" I'm waiting for my secretary, he replied

Santa: I am so miser that I went alone for my honeymoon and saved half the money. Banta: That is nothing, I saved full money. I sent my wife for honeymoon with a friend. 


Boss: Santa, bring two corner tickets for movie for me & my GF. Santa brought two corner tickets A1 & A15. 



Santa: Why do girls look beautiful? Is it real or due to make up? Banta: All false. Girls look beautiful because boys have good imagination



Interviewer: Why did you change your last job? Santa: Because the company shifted and didn't tell me where!



Maths teacher was teaching Mathematical Conversions. Teacher-If, 1000 Kgs= Ton. Then For 3000 Kgs = How Much? Santa- Ton!Ton!Ton!



Santa becomes driver of a train. The 1st train driven by him was 8 hours late b`coz he stopped at every halt and asked " Is this the right track for Amritsar?"

Vicky, who was 19 years old, was buying an expensive bracelet, to surprise his girlfriend on Valentine's Day, at a jeweller's shop in Connaught Place, Delhi.

The jeweller inquired, 'Would you like your girlfriend's name engraved on it?'

Vicky thought for a moment, grinned, then answered, 'No, instead engrave 'To my one and only love'.'

The jeweller smiled and said, 'Yes, sir; how very romantic of you.'

Vicky retorted with a glint in his eye, 'Not exactly romantic, but very practical. This way, if we break up, I can use it again.' 


A young woman was taking an afternoon nap.

After she woke up, she told her husband, "I just dreamed that you gave me a pearl necklace for Valentine's day. What do you think it means?"

"You'll know tonight." he said.

That evening, the man came home with a small package and gave it to his wife. Delighted, she opened it--only to find a book entitled: "The meaning of dreams".



Rajeev and Mona are flying to Australia on a two-week vacation to celebrate the

Santa : I tried your number so many times, it always said 'Switched Off'!"
Banta : Nahi Pape, it's my HELLO TUNE!

Daku Mangal Singh Banta Ke Ghar Mein Ghus Ayaa..
Daku : Sona kahan hai, Jaldi Bataao...!
Banta : Pura Ghar Khali Hai Malko, Jithe Marzi So Jao!

Santa : Kaisi Sabzi Banai Hai, Bilkul Gobar Jaisa Swad Hai !
Jasmeet : Hey bhagwan! Na Jane Inhone Kya-Kya Kha Ke Dekha Hua Hai.
Gobar Ka Swad Bhi Pata Hai..!

Banta : Praji, Jab Main Paida Hua Tha To Military Walon Ne 21 Topein Chalayeen Thi.
Santa : Kamaal Hai ! Sab Ka Nishana Kayse Chook Gaya ..?

Santa meets his friend Bunta
Santa : A & B, A & B, A & B, A & B, A & B...!
Bunta : Oye, Iska Matlab ?
Santa : Kuch Nahin Yaar, I Mean Long Time No C..!

Santa : Drinking-n-Driving Dono Nalo Naal Nai Ho Sakde.
Banta : Kyoo Ji ?
Santa : Je SpeedBbreaker Aa Gaya Taa Peg Dul Jau.

Phone Ki Ganti Baji.
Santa : Phone Mere Liye Ho To Kehna Mein Ghar Pe Nahin Hoon.
Jasmeet : Wo Ghar Pe Hain

1)what is the cube of 13?
Its : SUROOR
Wandaring how?
That's bcoz....
TERA * TERA * TERA = SUROOR


2) ek aadmi k 6 fingers thi,use log hanuman bulate the...batao kyon?
Kyonki uska naam hanuman tha..


3) who was the 1st Indian woman fly abroad?
..........sita with ravan


4) wht did the kangaroo say when she found her baby missing?
.......Aaila! !!!! Kisne mera pocket maar liya


5) wht do u call a really colourful tamilian???
Ans: Rangamannar rangrajan


6) An elephant falls in luv wid n Ant.but Ant's parents r against their marrige...guess y??
They gave a solid reason...**Ladke k daant bahar hain **


7) ones sardarji saw a very soni kudi in the market & thought..
......kash k ye meri maa hondi to main v inna sona Honda..


8) Full form of MATHS?
Mentally Affected Teacher Harassing Students...

Chemistry of Love

Symbol : ILU
Atomic No. : 2
Atomic Weight : Varies from couple to couple
Position on Periodic Table : Close to Heart
Occurrence : Occurs in highly reactive state in college compounds, cinema halls, parks and bus stops.
Method of Preparation :
· By action of beauty upon heart, an exothermic reaction resulting in higher rate of blood circulation and faster heart beat.
· By combination of two complex compounds commonly known as a boy and a girl.
Catalysts Used : Friends, cousins, movies, restaurants and a highly active imagination.
Chemical Properties :-
· Action on Scientists : Love + Scientist Þ Philosopher
· Action on Teenagers : Love + Teenager Þ Poet
· Reacts vigourously with suppression.

Na Chemistry hoti na main Student hota Na ye Lab hoti Na Ye Accident Hota Abhi Practical mein ayee nazar Ek Ladki Sundar thi Naak Us ki Test Tube Jaisi Baton mein Us ki Glucose ki Mithas thi Sanson mein Ester ki Khushboo bhi sath thi Aankhon se jhalakta tha kuch is Tarah ka Pyaar Bin Piye hi ho jata hai Alcohol Ka Khumar Benzene sa hota tha Uski Presence ka Ehsaas Andhere mein hota tha Radium ka Abhas Nazrein mili, reaction hua Kuch is tarah Love ka Production hua Lagne lage Us ke Ghar ke Chakkar aise Nucleus ke charon taraf Electron hon jaise Us din hamare Test ka Confirmation hua Jab us ke daddy se hamara Introduction hua Sun kar hamari baat wo aise Uchhal pade Ignesium Tube mein jaise Sodium Bhadak uthe Woh bole, Hosh mein aao, Pehchano apni aukat iron mil nahi sakta kabhi gold k saath

Ye sun kar Tuta hamare Armanon Bhara Beakar Aur ham Chup rahe Benzaldehyde ka Kadwa Ghoont pee kar Ab us ki yadon ke siwa hamara Kam chalta na tha Aur Lab main hamare Dil ke siwa kuch jalta na tha TUSHAR=======> 

english - I love you.

Bengali - Aami Tumaake Bhaalo Baashi

Polish - Ja Kocham Ciebie

French - Je T'aime

Hindi - Hum Tumhe Pyar Karte Hai

Czech - Miluji Te

Slovakian - Lu'Bim Ta

Italian - Ti Amo

Ukrainian - Ya Tebe Kahayu

German - Ish Libe Dish

Chinese - Wo Ai Ni

Greek - S'agapo

Hawaian - Aloha Wau Ia Oi

Lithuianian - Tav Myliu

Korean - Sa Rang Hae Yo

Japanese - Ai Shi Te Ru

Romanian - Te Ubsec

Bosnian - Volim Te

Albanian - Te Dua

Filipino - Mahal Kita

Spanish - Te Amo

I Can Say I Love You In 21 Different Languages!
Now send this to 10 People That You Love Most,
which can include ME And Are Your True Friends!
If You Get This Back 5 Times, That Means You Are Truly Loved!
Lotz Of Luv.....................

PAPA ne kaha~**

.............doston se milna chhod do

**MUMMY ne kaha**

.............ghar se nikalna chhod do

**friendz ne kaha**

.............udhar mangna chhod do

**Girlfriend ne kaha**

....................Ladkiyo se Baat karna chod Do

** Orkut ne kaha**

.............ye dunya hi chhod do

~*Lekin YaaR*~

........TUM se ye kisne kaha ki

....mujhay scrap karna chhod do

Conducting a blood test on u....
Testing in Progress...
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RESULT:

Sorry u hav been diagnosed to be having HIV POSITIVE...
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H= HONEY
I= IN
V= VAINS
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YOU are full of Honey, No Wonder u r so sweeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeetttttttt!!!!